7 Golden Rules For Phone Calls

So, you've finally scored a phone number from that girl you've been working up your nerve to approach. You know how important the first telephone conversation will be and your nerves are rattled. So now what? Telephone etiquette is a central part of the general impression you give a woman. Indeed, many disastrous conversations could be avoided if more people would simply think before dialing. So, if you are rusty, telephone challenged or even if you have been playing the field regularly, it can't hurt to fine-tune your game. While most supposed dating experts will give you dozens of telephone strategies to follow, we prefer to keep things simple. The seven tips below are all you need to develop a polished telephone personality and make a killer first impression.

1- Keep conversations short
Whether you are a busy corporate attorney, self-employed or even unemployed, you always want to give her the impression that you lead a full, active life. By keeping your initial telephone conversations brief, you will give her the impression that you are busy and in demand. As an added bonus, if you are always the one ending the conversations, it will keep you in a position of control, leaving her wanting more and more of your time.

2- Leave on a high note
She'll always remember what you said last. Therefore, before ending a conversation, make an effort to leave on a positive note, such as with a well thought-out joke or a funny story. Even if your entire telephone conversation went poorly, if you leave her smiling before saying goodbye, she is more likely to want to speak to you again -- and hopefully see you in person -- which, of course, is your ultimate goal.

3- Have a purpose to your call
Don't just call to chitchat. We cannot stress this enough: preparation, preparation, preparation. Be armed and ready with a purpose to your call (the most likely purpose being to ask her out, of course); this will give her the impression that you are assertive and thoughtful enough to think of a plan beforehand. This plan will also serve as a backup weapon should there be an awkward silence in the conversation or if her voice mail picks up.

4- Be positive Women might have the reputation of being natural listeners, but the truth is that she probably won't stick around if you're all about gloom and negativity. It doesn't matter if your boss is disrespectful or your coworker is incompetent -- complaints are a real turn off, especially in the early stages of a relationship. You can avoid looking needy by keeping your emotional baggage to yourself, at least at the beginning. Make a concerted effort to keep all conversations positive and the griping to a minimum.

5- Leave a message only on the second call You should avoid leaving a message on the first call; it may make you seem too needy. Herein lies perhaps the most important, and least flexible, of all the rules: Do not think that you will bypass her radar by calling from an unknown number or hanging up on her machine numerous times. If she doesn't answer your first call, feel free to hang up without leaving a message and try again later. Upon the second phone call, leave a message, and don't call again until she does. By not calling more than twice, you not only avoid the dreaded appearance of desperation, but you also throw the ball into her court and get the chance to gauge her interest in you (by seeing when or if she calls you back).

6- Place the call at an appropriate time Phone calls during working hours are a complete no-no. First, you'll be busted for daydreaming about her on the job -- if you take time off from work to call her, she'll know she's very much on your mind. Secondly, she might not be as receptive to your phone call with her coworkers or boss in her midst. If you'd like to set up a date for the weekend, call by Wednesday. Avoid Friday and Saturday night phone calls at all cost; even if you are at home with your dog watching a movie, she doesn't need to know that.

7- Leave coherent messages Don't leave long, rambling messages on her voice mail. Picture this: Every message you leave on her voice mail could potentially be played back and analyzed several times over. Your tone and choice of wording could be used as points of discussion with her friends. Therefore, your best defense against a disastrous message is brevity. Identify yourself by name (especially in the early stages of getting to know her, don't just say: "It's me!"), then get to the point (for example, ask her if she is available on Friday). Leave one phone number where you can be reached, but don't leave your contact number, address, e-mail, and so on -- this will just seem too desperate.

RULES FOR DATING SUCCESS

Why introduce steadfast telephone rules into the world of dating? If you haven't already been convinced by what you've read, the answer is very simple: You achieve better results. Many of us -- men and women alike -- who are in pursuit of a romantic interest have a tendency to forget about rules and follow our hearts. Sadly, even good intentions can result in countless unanswered calls and, consequently, a severe blow to one's dignity. All of this can be avoided if you are consistent about implementing the above tips. Within no time, your sophisticated telephone persona will surely stir her curiosity.